Sorry for the distance...

As many of you know, I've been back to work full time since 7/29/10. Life has reverted almost back to normal. I say almost because of one particular fact. I don't eat at work anymore! No more standing by the expo line and eating french fries all day. No more making a 12 pound pizza and finishing it in one sitting...it just doesn't, nor could it happen, without an extreme amount of pain.

I got the OK last Friday, 8/6 at my one month post op appointments, to begin a workout at a club. I joined Lifetime Fitness for a week of trial workouts. I used to be a member, but I left because I thought they were very over-priced. Now I look at it as a place to begin the reshaping of me. A place I can go to where I have my music and a sense of purpose again. Before, I was lazy and never wanted to go. Now I am driven to go and go everyday! I love this point in my life were I feel like I am rediscovering myself again. I feel a sense of pride in who I am and how weird that it took losing pounds to do that to me. I always presented myself, I think, with great confidence. Before, it was a cloak to disguise how I really felt about myself. Now, my confidence runs through and out of me. I feel like I'm seeing things for the first time and suddenly I want to grasp life by the proverbial balls and take all it has to offer.

I will endeavor to update this blog more on a bi-weekly effort or greater frequency. Thank you to all of my family and friends and co-workers...your support has changed my life.

P.S. I'm down 82.7lbs since 6/26/10!

Work

To say that I have missed going to work on a weekly basis is an understatement. I was given this work ethic at a very young age from my Mother's Father. Howard D. Seiple worked hard every day of his life. By the time I came around, Grandpa was working for Minnegasco (now Xcel Energy) as an installer of gas meters. He drove a company truck that smelled like oil and metal. I miss that smell. Not because he has passed; but, because he is retired and lives North of the cities. My grandpa is the reason I only listen to WCCO in my car...always annoying my kids and wife to no end. My Grandpa took me to the bulk of my youth Minnesota Twins games. He would leave me in my seat for long periods of time while he went upstairs to the concourse to smoke his Vantage Lights. I most likely smoked for 20 years because of him. I still love the smell of the first drag of a cigarette being lit by a car lighter. That sweet odor takes me back to the back seat of his 1966 Chrysler New Yorker (eventually would be my first car). My Grandpa Seiple always said the measure of a man can be seen in his wallet and the sweat of his brow from a hard days work.

I think that will always be with me. It's that ideal that I am trying to instill in my Son, Zane. If I look closely at the picture I posted here, I can see his greying pattern on my head, which he might comment on was a bit shaggy. In my sunglasses, you can see that I am checking my iPhone for what was going on at work. That's his nose on my face, that's the "A" typical Seiple nose. I'm very proud of it.

In recent years, we have grown apart. This is typical of Seiple's. You move away or lose contact for whatever reason. Time goes by and as the chasm of time gets wider, the sense to reconnect grows thin. We never talked much when I was growing up in his home or when he let me move into his basement when I came back from College. I always knew, though, that he cared. I also had to accept the fact that was how we communicated. My hope is that when I reach out to my kid, he won't drift away as much as I did. I hope Zane will appreciate, not necessarily me; but, will appreciate what I'm trying to teach him before his Mother and I send him out into the world next year.

My status on my surgery is as such: Since stopping the Atenolol pills, my strength has been coming back in bunches. I'm up earlier than before and ready for a productive day. Yesterday, Lisa and I had to bring Erica to Urgent Care because of a bad cough. The sad part of the day is that I got a chance to weigh myself for the first time since July 13th. If my calculations are correct, based on what I weighed before I started my liquid diet on June 26th, I've lost a total of 65lbs. I now have 110lbs to get to my goal weight. That is just with doing what I'm supposed to be doing without working out. I can't wait to go back to the gym. My next appointments are August 6th. I am hoping to get cleared to start working out. I want to get my workout ethic on!

Thanks Grandpa.

Work

Hey all 5 of you! Thanks for all the kind words and encouragement. It has such a huge effect on raising my self worth when I know there are people out there who care. Those of you who are following me from Lola's, thank you so very much. It is nice to know I am missed. Thank you for all the hard work you've done to help keep our commitment to service as strong as when I left.

Barb and Katy and Lisa, thanks for your generosity. Barb, the books are just great and help the time fly by. It's nice to know your sense of humor is a screwed up as mine. That's why we get along so well. Katy, you and Rob have been great. Thank you for the low pressure gathering at your beautiful house last weekend. It was great! To my gorgeous wife, Lisa. You are tireless in your work to make me comfortable and encourage me to get stronger every day. There is no way I could do this without your love and support. I am your forever.

Taco, thanks for the note and welcome back! You were missed.

I stopped out to Lola's yesterday morning for some office time. I almost got teary-eyed as I descended the hill to see our beautiful newly stripped and asphalted parking lot. It's sad, I know. It was great to see Foodie and Pete and Sarah, Steph and Tonia and Felix. I also got a great opportunity to see Dermot and Steve. It was nice to connect with my other manager to see how he was holding up and to see how the restaurant was doing.

I'm still healing and growing stronger, eating pureed beans and turkey and chicken. I was never a fan of Cream of Wheat when I was growing up; but, I sure the hell love it now! I am having no problem getting my liquids in and have already become accustomed to not drinking liquids before or after my meals. I thought this was going to be the biggest struggle. I am adapting quickly to this new life and look at every new phase as a reward. I am so happy I made this decision to have this operation. I have no regrets and know that I was focusing on the death of a certain part of my history rather than celebrating the unknown.

I still have a great deal of work to do; but, I know help is only around the corner.

Thanks for DVD's!

I used to read all the time. There was a period of my life when I didn't even have a television. I used to profess to kill your television. Now, tv is my best friend. Sure, I need to get out and walk every hour or so; but, television is awesome. It brings me Twins games and The Price is Right and Ghost Hunters and Food Network and a host of others to spin the day away as I mend and grow stronger. In the past 3 years of work, I have never watched this much tv. How do you talk to another human being? My dog naps, I nap.

Still, this is not the 11th day of not being at work, 10 days since I had my surgery and 4 more days on my Atenolol. I am finally on pureed food. I made some pureed chicken and fat free re-fried beans. My nurse suggested adding spice to the mixture and I have made the meal taste like Mexican food by using FF sour cream and crushed red pepper and smooth taco sauce, which is fat free and awesome! Next, I'm gonna have a hard boiled egg tomorrow, pureed of course.

Thanks goes out to my beautiful wife for keeping me moving at night and being so involved in helping me get back to where I need to be. I miss work and can't wait to get back into the fold. Hopefully they haven't figured out that they really don't need me...just kidding.

No more clear.

I had my first post-op appointment with my Nurse today. It went surprisingly well. Here are some things I found out:

-I can now graduate to full liquids, meaning I can have some Cream of Wheat, smooth yogurt and smooth cream soups. Oh boy! I can only have 2tbs of each of one of these at each meal time. I had cream of chicken today and thought I was on a fluffy cloud.

-I now have to begin to restrict my drinking of liquids. I now stop drinking 30 min before until 30 min after meals.

-In between meals, I can now have FF milk with added protein powder. I had one today and was not as woozy every time I stood up.

Other stand outs are that I have dropped a total of 38.7lbs since 6/26/10; but, that means I only lost 6lbs since surgery last Tuesday. However, my Nurse did say that most patients experience a slight gain with all the fluids that are pumped into you at the hospital. I was encouraged that I was in the minority.

My walking has been increasing, now branching out beyond the confines of our little community in EP. Yeah, I'm actually going across the street! Mom always said I would be a big boy someday! I have some lethargic tendencies as I am still experiencing some weak moments and some lightheadedness. I am still confident and see the bright side of what I've done.

The days immediately following surgery, I had some regrets about what I had done. What I realized what I was experiencing was a loss over not being able to eat they way that got me to this point in the first place. It was selfishness that reared its ugly head. It was my addiction trying to bring me down. I won't let it get me down. I'm not perfect, never will be. I will fall along the way; but, the great thing about it is, I have a tremendous support structure that will pick me up and keep me on my path. I love that about my friends and family.

Besides, I fit into my 2009 Joe Mauer All-Star BP Jersey for the first time in like 8 months.

A day that was.

Yesterday was my birthday. I was not in the particular place and time that I wanted to be celebrating my birthday. No party or beer, no cake (devastating if you know my wife and how she bakes) and no cheer. I went to a movie early, at 11am, with my family. We saw "Despicable Me". It was an enjoyable animated movie; but, I have been battling intestinal problems for the past 2 days; so, I did not fully enjoy the experience. I've moved on beyond having a bucket of popcorn and a tankard of soda. I barely touched my Vitamin Water Zero. Seriously, who am I?

There seems to be a huge build up of gas in my body. The will is there to expel it; but, the body won't listen to the urge. I have continued the liquid pain medication, as I have some side, back and abdominal pain. I have been taking the same Atenolol 25mg that I was taking before the surgery and will continue until the 20th of July. This has the same effect of lethargy. I have been taking this new medicine, Omeprazole:

Omeprazole decreases the amount of acid produced in the stomach.

Omeprazole is used to treat symptoms of gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) and other conditions caused by excess stomach acid. It is also used to promote healing of erosive esophagitis (damage to your esophagus caused by stomach acid).

Omeprazole may also be given together with antibiotics to treat gastric ulcer caused by infection with helicobacter pylori (H. pylori).

Omeprazole is not for immediate relief of heartburn symptoms.

Omeprazole may also be used for other purposes not listed in this medication guide.

Read more: http://www.drugs.com/omeprazole.html#ixzz0tO1ckoNa

Apparently, it is supposed to help protect my new pouch as I heal from surgery. One of the side effects is abdominal pain. I nailed that one on the head. I so look forward to being somewhat regular and normal. I know that it will take awhile. I am getting tired of liquids and broth. I never thought I would say that but I am tired of it. I know it's a process and I know there is a reason why the plan is set up this way.

Emotionally, I am feeling ok. I have moments of depression about what I've done. I know it is the right thing; but, I seriously have considered not going to anymore Twins games this year because right now it's too hard to not have a hot dog or a beer or anything that I have included as part of my game watching. I do not regret my decision. I never will. I know that what I've done is the right thing I had to do. I just have to alter my lifestyle. I have asked my family to not eat dinner around me and to not be the sole custodian of their meal preparations right now. Until I adjust fully, it will be too hard. I need them to continue to be somewhat normal; but, a slight change is not too much to ask at this point.

Thanks to everyone who has sent wishes and good will. It has been a great tool that has gotten me through. Thanks!

I am just up from my first restful night of sleep at home. I will try to recount my events as best remembered from the photo on the left to now. This picture was waiting in a pre-op room. I was in there for almost 3 hours! My doctor was running a little late; but, eventually around 3pm, I was trekking off to operating room. I walked into this big room that was freezing cold and I settled on a table in the middle. At least 5 people were swarming around me, working on various parts of me to get me ready for this life changing operation. There I was, spread like a christ figure on a table with my life in others hands. Anyone who knows me knows what a joyful experience it is to have control taken away from me. I faded into oblivion. I woke up in recovery very confused and sore. I have no memory of leaving the recovery room and being wheeled into my room. I have some hazy memories of seeing my beautiful wife by my side as I slept and passed a great deal of gas.

I finally came to that evening in room 417-1 in the West wing of Methodist hospital. Over the next 36 hours, I had some wonderful care by many different nurses and assistants. In particular, my overnight nurse, Barb was a great chuckle. She just told me like it is and kept me legit. She came in every 4 hours and woke me up to take my vitals and get me to walk. It was very hard at first. I had felt like I just completed doing a million crunches. Walking was helping and I tried to do a lap around the ward as much as I could.

I had my first experience with a catheter. It was not as horrible as I had imagined; but, I was unconscious when it was put in; but, wide awake when it came out. That was one of the weirdest feelings I had ever experienced. It was not good or bad, just weird. I woke up on Thursday morning very early to get my vitals and had my eye on being discharged soon. Kay, one of my nurses, was a complete joy to be around. She had the great joy of removing my IV and my drain tube., both which my wife had to leave the room for or she would have thrown up. She's my rock! Having my drain tube removed was a slightly unpleasant experience. It felt like my insides were going to come out with the pull. It caused me some nausea that I had not ever felt before. I was visited by my Doctor upon discharge and he greeted me with a DVD of my surgery. Yes, I know, that seems awful, but I have that morbid curiosity in me.

I had some great experiences. My wife's work department sent me some wonderful sunflowers and my Mom and her boyfriend Bill came for a visit. A neat experience was my evening Nurse Amy. At one point, she asked me if I had ever worked at Tuggs in Minneapolis. I said yes and she said she was hired by me. I was flabbergasted that she remembered me and we chatted about some good times and the memories started to roll back in. It just goes to show how small the world can be and how you should be nice to those around you because you never know if someone will be responsible for your pain medication later in life.

Now I am home and managing my pain and eating like a bird. I am on clear liquids until next Wednesday. I have my follow-up post op visit with my Bariatric nurse. I hope to progress to full liquids and eat things like yogurt and cream of wheat and then progress to pureed food shortly after that. Everyday is a new adventure, like being born again. This second chance will not be wasted. This second chance is my time. Thank you to everyone for all their great positive thoughts and prayers. You are my greatest healing power.

The last day as the old me...Say Goodbye.

It's been a long day. I won't go into the disgusting details of a bowel prep. I will say that I hope none of you not going through what I am about to go through has to go through what I just went through. Now that I have completely confused you with that sentence, which was completely grammatically correct, let's blog.

It's 10pm on the evening before surgery. Rain is falling in a thick curtain outside my window as I write this. My puppy lays lifeless on a pillow over the shoulder of my beautiful wife while she toils at a laptop, working. I love my life. I love the life my wife and I have made for each other with the two kids and two pets.

It was very cool last night, at work, as most of my employees wished me well. I will miss them for the duration that I'm at home. Some of them even went so far as to leave me cards and gifts (Thank you Kathy, Anne and Julie!). I can't wait to be a better manager for them. This past week has shown how taxing this job can be and how tired I have become of the pace. I look forward to finding the energy to pump back into a career that has giving me so much.

I don't have much to say on this last day of my old life. I've talked about it already. What I am looking forward to is posting an new picture every day and write about my experiences and feelings. I will write about what I eat, how I exercise and what it is going to take to become the new Christopher Seiple. This next chapter will be more for you, those that read what I write and post, and less for me, the one going through this process. Thanks for taking the time out of your day to check in. Thank you for all your encouragement and well wishes and prayers. They mean more to mean, you all mean more to me than I let on or that you may know. Thank you and I'll chat with you all Thursday the 8th or Friday the 9th.

This has been a week to remember...

A lot has happened since I chatted last. I have worked a ton and only been home to sleep, until today. I would be remiss if I didn't account this past weeks events.

Wednesday, June 30th was a bad day. While working during the afternoon, Park Nicollet called me that my surgery, the focal point of my last year, was being postponed indefinitely because of the impending nurse's strike set to commence on 7/6, my surgery date. You have to understand; but, seriously, why did I have to be at work when all I wanted to do was run, hide and cry. I wasn't the only one affected by this potential strike. To think of the hundreds or thousands that would be affected by this strike, it was hard not to feel selfish, but feel sympathy. None the less, it was a tough day.

Thursday started so early and was a struggle all day. I had to come in to work at 4am to begin and finish and post inventory for the restaurant AND work a double. I worked a total of 20 hours that day; but, in the middle, at about 1:30 pm, the hospital called me an informed me that the strike was resolved and a stoppage was averted. I was elated and called my loving wife as fast as I could. We did a little dance on each end of the phone. I slept very hard that night.

Friday and Saturday were very tough, as I was at my second home, Target Field, and I was unable to have anything at the stadium. It had a joyless effect on me. Saturday, I forgot to take my protein drink before going to the park. We eventually had to leave in the 8th inning because I was feeling dizzy from lack of food and the heat. My wife was so awesome and strong. Instead of taking me to a hospital for fluids, she turned on the air and headed for home, trusting that when I said I was fine, I would make it home. We enjoyed my first relaxing night at home since early in the week. We watch a movie on TV and I headed for bed early and slept in late.

Now, it's the 4th of July today and it doesn't seem that special as the day goes. It's my sister's 15th Birthday today and I am looking at 7-9 hours of work for my last day before my surgery. My focus is the surgery and doing what I need to do to get through this last day of my liquid diet. As of this past Friday, I had lost 19.7lbs. In one week, almost 20lbs. That seems a bit unhealthy but it was necessary to get me to this point. I am not looking forward to tomorrow; but, again, it is getting me towards my goal. I won't go into the absolute hate I have for a bowel prep tomorrow and I will spare you the details. I look for one more entry before hospital on Tuesday. Thanks to all who have given me encouragement and sent their good thoughts and prayers. They are all heartfelt and appreciated.

For the greater good...

Day 4 and 5

I did miss posting yesterday; but, instead, spent a wonderful evening with my wife shopping at Best Buy for some new headphones for the hospital and I finally found the U2 360 on Blu-Ray. Getting prepared for this time away from work has become more work than anything at work. My beautiful wife, Lisa, has remarked how proud she is of me and how hard it is doing what I am doing. She has been great to talk to about this process. I know she wants to be there for me and make me as comfortable with this decision as possible. There are times when I don't feel like I need help and others when I feel there is no way to do this without the love and support of my friends and family.

This road I am embarking on is going to be hard. These first 5 days of my liquid diet have been testament to that fact. I finally lost it in my office at work yesterday. I was trying to complete some tasks to get out for the day. The phone kept ringing, my phone kept ringing, people kept coming in and asking question (which is normal for any day). I finally shouted for everything to "Leave me the fuck alone!". Not knowing anyone was around me, a peer poked her head in and asked if I was OK. I felt instant embarrassment because at work, I am complete composure. Sure I may looked stressed at times when we are really busy and I may be short with people at other times when we are REALLY busy; but, normally I hopefully bring an air of calm to an otherwise chaotic existence sometimes.

I find my self tired most of the time since this past Saturday, when I started my liquid diet. I also started taking a full pill of the Atenolol on Saturday. This is the description of what Atenolol is:

Atenolol (Tenormin) is a selective β₁ receptor antagonist, a drug belonging to the group of beta blockers (sometimes written β-blockers), a class of drugs used primarily in cardiovascular diseases. Introduced in 1976, atenolol was developed as a replacement for propranolol in the treatment of hypertension. The chemical works by slowing down the heart and reducing its workload. Unlike propranolol, atenolol does not pass through the blood-brain barrier thus avoiding various central nervous system side effects.^[1]

Atenolol is one of the most widely used β-blockers in the United Kingdom and was once the first-line treatment for hypertension. The role for β-blockers in hypertension was downgraded in June 2006 in the United Kingdom to fourth-line, as they perform less well than newer drugs, particularly in the elderly. Some evidence suggests that even in normal doses the most frequently used β-blockers carry an unacceptable risk of provoking type 2 diabetes.^[2]

Indications

Atenolol can be used to treat cardiovascular diseases and conditions such as hypertension, coronary heart disease, arrhythmias, angina (chest pain) and to treat and reduce the risk of heart complications following myocardial infarction (heart attack). It is also used to treat the symptoms of Graves Disease, until antithyroid medication can take effect.

Due to its hydrophilic properties, the drug is less suitable in migraine prophylaxis compared to propranolol, because, for this indication, atenolol would have to reach the brain in high concentrations, which is not the case (see below).

Cardioselectivity and asthma

Atenolol is classified as a β₁-selective (or 'cardioselective') drug, one that exerts greater blocking activity on myocardial β₁-receptors than on β₂ receptors in the lung. The β₂ receptors are responsible for keeping the bronchial system open. If these receptors are blocked, bronchospasm with serious lack of oxygen in the body can result. However, due to its cardioselective properties, the risk of bronchospastic reactions if using atenolol is reduced compared to nonselective drugs as propranolol. Nonetheless, this reaction may also be encountered with atenolol at high doses. Although traditionally B-blockers have been contraindicated when a person carries a diagnosis of asthma, recent studies have revealed that at moderate doses selective B blockers such as Atenolol are well tolerated.

Provisional data suggests that antihypertensive therapy with atenolol provides weaker protective action against cardiovascular complications (e.g. myocardial infarction and stroke) compared to other antihypertensive drugs. In some cases, diuretics are superior. However, controlled studies are lacking.^[3]

Unlike most other commonly-used β-blockers, atenolol is excreted almost exclusively by the kidneys. This makes it attractive for use in individuals with end-stage liver disease.

Contraindications

• bradycardia (pulse less than 50 bpm)
• cardiogenic shock
• asthma (may cause broncho-constriction), although unlikely as atenolol is cardioselective
• symptomatic hypotension (blood pressure of less than 100/60 mm Hg with dizziness, vertigo etc.)
• angina of the Prinzmetal type (vasospastic angina)
• metabolic acidosis (a severe condition with a more acid blood than normal)
• severe disorders in peripheral arterial circulation
• AV-Blockage of second and third degree (a particular form of arrhythmia)
• acutely decompensated congestive heart failure (symptoms may be fluid retention with peripheral edema and/or abdominal fluid retention (ascites), and/or lung edema)
• sick sinus syndrome (a particular form of arrhythmia)
• hypersensitivity and/or allergy to atenolol
• phaeochromocytoma (a rare type of tumor of the adrenal glands)

Caution: patients with preexisting bronchial asthma

Caution: only if clearly needed during pregnancy, as atenolol may retard fetal growth and possibly cause other abnormalities.

Side effects

Atenolol causes significantly fewer central nervous system side effects (depressions, nightmares) and fewer bronchospastic reactions, both due to its particular pharmacologic profile.

It was the main β-blocker identified as carrying a higher risk of provoking type 2 diabetes, leading to its downgrading in the United Kingdom in June 2006 to fourth-line agent in the management of hypertension.^[2]

In addition, β-blockers blunt the usual sympathetic nervous system response to hypoglycemia (i.e. sweating, agitation, tachycardia). These drugs therefore have an ability to mask a dangerously low blood sugar, which further decreases their safety and utility in diabetic patients.

Side effects include:

• indigestion, constipation
• dry mouth
• dizziness or faintness (especially cases of orthostatic hypotension)
• cold extremities
• hair loss
• problems with sexual function
• runny/blocked nose
• depression
• confusion
• difficulty sleeping, nightmares
• fatigue, weakness or lack of energy

The last four side effects seem to be what I am experiencing while on the medication. It's amazing to think that a pill 1/3 the size of a normal aspirin can have this effect. Work days are made longer. Today is end of the month inventory. I have a double tomorrow and I have to count, input and gather end of the month numbers and hopefully make everything correct before I'm done on Sunday. YEAH!

2 and 3 still don't make 5.

Howdy everyone!

Just wanted to see how that sounded when there are only 2 people following this blog. I missed writing on Day 2 of the liquid diet. I have plenty of time to write on Day 3 because...I have no freaking energy to do anything. It's hard to work and concentrate and be nice and not burst into tears, which is exactly what I did when talking to my wife realizing that I could, under my current circumstances, go to tonight's Twins game. Do you know how flipping hard that is?!? I live for baseball, the Twins, Target Field and here I am, sitting at home, too tired to even write this blog.

I was mentally unprepared for this liquid diet. Physically unprepared for most things. I thought, "No problem, you've crash dieted before...no problem". This is beyond anything I have ever done before, as will most things on this adventure. I always would cheat a little, breaking down after 2 or 3 days. I can't now. This is permanent. It has been so hard at work. All I do all day is focus on food, talk about food and type about food, smell food and develop food. It's an insane situation to be in. It is like working in a brewery as a recovering alcoholic, or cutting the cocaine as a drug addict. How many times have I fantasized about food at work in the last 3 days? I feel like I need to recite the Reinhold Neibuhr prayer:

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

I know this may sound funny; but, this may help me get through this next stage of life. I am not overtly religious. I am, however, able to recognize it's place in my life rather than run from it. So, on Day 3, I have not eaten solid food, chewed off my arm or leg or anyone else's and I most certainly have not ripped anyone a new one yet...pleasant thoughts, big puffy clouds, the love of a good woman and kids and my little doggy, Kirby.

Day two feels like the longest day ever!

Help! How do you make it through this hunger? The best part of the equation is that I am working the entire time I'm on this liquid diet. I have been faithful to the Boost and Ensure routine for over 24 hours. Holy crap! Everything looks so freakin' good! I do and I don't understand this preparation for surgery. Couldn't it be to have several meals replaced by the nutrition drinks and get to have one meal a day? I feel lethargic at times and other times, I literally am not hungry...me, not hungry. I've been hungry since I got out of my mom's womb!

Everyone keeps pulling for me and the days are moving quickly; so, before I know it, I'll be back home recovering from surgery and learning to eat right, learning to taste again. I went to Target yesterday and purchased almost everything I need to move forward. That was a big step. It was solidifying what was happening. Today, I filled out a new dry erase calender for myself and nobody else. It will help me remember when my appointments are or when I need to stop taking medications or at what stage I am at in the recovery process depending on what stage of eating I am on.

Thank you goes out to my wife Lisa who is a constant supporter of me and my crazy ideas. I could not do this with out you baby. I will always love you all ways!

And now for something completely different...

So, today is the official start on my weight loss adventure.

Yesterday, at 8am, I met with an RD named Morgan. Went spent an hour together going over the appropriate lengths of time I would be spending on each phase of my progressive eating the days and months following my surgery. I was starting to be a realization that this was finally happening. I was a bit emotional on the car ride home. While listening to WCCO talk radio, which I do with passion, I heard a news story that Minnesota nurses are voted to strike again. This time, on July 6th, the date of my surgery. I don't plan on having any changes; but, fuck off and let's do this surgery!

As I mentioned at the beginning, today is the first "Official" date of my adventure. I started this morning with a delicious cocktail of vitamins, meds and Ensure. While I am awake, for the next 10 days, Boost or Ensure will be my every 3 hour meal, up to 5-6 times a day. I will be ingesting approximately 1100 calories for 10 days. Astonishing numbers if I think there have been days when I consume 10 days worth in 1 day. I have not felt sluggish or hungry, except when it's about 3 hours since my last one. In between meals, I can have broth or non-calorie, non-carbonated beverages, all day long. I was sitting at Zane's baseball game and was talking to Erica about all of this and she asked if I wanted one of her potato chips...she is not grasping the idea and HELL YES I WANT TO SMASH THE WHOLE CAN OF BBQ PRINGLES IN MY MOUTH! Then she said, oh right, sorry. I don't want people to think they have to apologize to me for me being fat. They didn't make me eat until I got this way. It's been all me baby! It's all me.

Day one on a liquid diet at work should be fun...

Happy Summer Equinox!

I always loved the summer solstice. As a younger man, I had many great opportunities to celebrate this day. My two most memorable ones were: When I was 17, I was on my first trip to Europe with an art expression group of college students from the University of Pittsburgh. We were so full of ourselves back then. We were in the highlands of Scotland and staying at a bed and breakfast in the village of Glenfinnan. This village sits on Loch Long. It was June 21, 1988, the longest day of the year. Somehow, a group of us found cloaks and candles and set off in true druid style. The bridge you see in the picture was adorned with candles and we took turns interpreting Yeats and Shelly and shouting barbaric yelps to bring forth summer. It was truly the first time I connected with nature.

My second best Summer Solstice came June 21, 1989 in Shoreline Amphitheater, Mountainview, CA. I was on my way to college back in Portland, OR. I had seen the Grateful Dead a few times up to this point; enough to consider myself a dead head. Little did I know what was in store for me. Mountainview is just north or Palo Alto and south of San Francisco. This amphitheater was nothing like I had experienced before. The place just seemed free and welcoming to my skewed view of the universe and I never felt alone, even though I was traveling by myself. I was off on an adventure that I climbed out of in 1993. After serious touring across this country, graduating and moving back to Minnesota a changed man. Forever.

Until now, my change was inside. Now I am about embark on a change inside that will greatly affect my perception by others and by myself. There has always been a view I have held of myself. A vision of how life could be without this prison I'm in now. I am on my last week of real food and real portions for the remainder of my life. Food has been my prison and I've served my sentence out in the body long enough. Don't get me wrong. I am going to miss the hell out of food. Cheeseburgers and popcorn and anything my Wife, Lisa bakes. I'm eating this week like it's my last rights. Don't get too close or you'll pull back a stump. Like Bob Dylan sings so eloquently, "Any day now, any day now, I shall be released."

Commitment to Long-Term Lifestyle Changes

Howdy brave followers. Today was a most excellent day. I was able to sit down with my boss, Dermot, to hash out the details of my time away. Never in my almost 25 years of service industry experience have I had the good fortune to work for a man as connected to my needs as a professional as Mr. Cowley. We have a great working relationship. I am a Maverick who bucks the system that is set before me; but I have dedicated staff, serious retention rates and the ability to steer my ship towards profit-town. Without this key element of support, there is no way I could even conceive to accomplish what I am about to set forth.

I wanted to share with anyone who reads my blog, the commitment to Long-Term Lifestyle Changes that I signed with my Surgeon, Dr. Thomas Jones (Yes, my surgeon's name is Tom Jones and it is for that reason alone that I choose him).

I agree to make the following long-term lifestyle changes after my bariatric procedure:

Dietary Guidelines

• I will follow the dietary guidelines as indicated in my patient handbook.
• I will choose foods low in sugar and fat and high in protein.
• I commit to eating three meals a day, with protein first at each meal.
• I will eat each meal for at least 20-30 minutes and no more than 30 minutes.
• I will not drink for 30 minutes before meals, with my meals or for 30 minutes after meals.
• I will avoid snacking or grazing between meals.I will take vitamin and mineral supplements as outlined in my patient handbook or as instructed by my bariatric team.

Fluid Intake

• I commit to consuming 48-64 ounces of calorie-free liquids (except milk) every day.
• I will not drink alcohol for the first year after surgery.

Exercise Plan

• My goal will be to exercise an average of 30 minutes a day, five days a week.
• I can break up the exercise into two 15-minute or three 10-minute sessions daily.

Follow-up

• I commit to returning to the Bariatric Surgery Department for follow-up appointments at the scheduled times indicated in my patient handbook. I understand that I am at risk for nutritional deficiency and that lab tests to evaluate my nutritional status should be performed regularly.
• I will follow recommended referrals made by the bariatric team. These referrals may be to a dietician, psychologist or other clinician.
• I understand the benefits of attending a support group and will make an attempt one regularly.

I commit to the follow all of the guidelines outlined by my surgeon and his staff. This includes all instructions and teaching provided to me before and after surgery, as well as in my patient handbook.

This was signed by myself and my surgeon, Dr. Thomas Jones on 14th day of June in the year 2010 (Yes, I do want Dr. Jones to play "It's Not Unusual" when I'm wheeled into the operating room!).

July 6, 2010 Adventure starts BEFORE the birthday!

The day started very early. I had no food or water since 10pm Sunday night to prepare for my ultrasound. I got to Methodist extremely early and checked in and made it to Radiology. My technician's name Was Bart...could that be more perfect. There was mood lighting...is that right, mood lighting?Then he told me to remove my shirt. After he came to and accepted my apology for the black eye, we started my ultrasound.

The gel was very warm, unexpected , as was the touch of an ultrasound tech voice at 7:45am. For 20 minutes, Bart calmly told me to breathe in and breathe out. We finished and he pushed me out the door towards fate. My anticipation was jamming blood through my veins faster than my wife can smoke a cigarette outside in a blizzard. I coursed my way through the hospital maze to make it to the Bariatric Center at Methodist. Everyone is so helpful and welcoming, like a secret club. I was checked in and ended up being so incredibly early that I waited over an hour to see the Surgeon.

Dr. Thomas Jones is an unassuming man at first glance. Shorter than his name suggested, made up on experience and demeanor. He made me completely calm from the very first words, "Let's fix you". He sat down and got to know me and asked me questions rather than see me as a spot on a meat packing line. Dr. Jones joked and laughed, got serious when needed, and finally; after two plus years and especially the last 7 months it all came down to; "So, when do you wanna do this?" I didn't respond at first. Yesterday was all that was in my mind. Yesterday, I was just Christopher Seiple, the prisoner in his own body. Now someone was holding my key to the rest of my life and I locked up. Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, I said "As soon as possible Doc, as soon as your schedule allows".

I have my day. I know the roadmap for the next few month. I meet with my Boss at work to discuss the 3 weeks I will need off on Wednesday. Tonight, Lisa and I will discuss with the kids what to expect. In between all those hours, I will contemplate the change I'm about to go through. I will dream of better days when my image in my head will match what my eyes see. I can't wait to be the man I know is inside. And I will be out of the hospital in time for my birthday!

My life through John Goodman's eyes.

I just saw photos of and read an article about John Goodman shedding over 100 pounds recently. They had attached photos of him from 2008 & 2009. I was so proud, looking at those photos. The article quipped that he looked younger and healthier than he had in years.

I only bring this up because I used to think of myself as a sort of poor man's Dan Conner (his role on Rosanne). And then I started to think of how I looked at some of my Hollywood heros, like Jim Belushi and Chris Farley and people like Kevin James or to a lesser extent, Meatloaf. Did I find solace in the fact that these portly entertainers had success despite their waistlines? Was I comforted to see someone represent me on the big and small screens that raised me? A few comedies even seemed to pattern after what my life was like, fat guy and skinny, hot wife (King of Queens and Still Standing, the latter which was almost exactly like my life). I looked at these and didn't see a problem, not until Dr. P stepped into my life.

Dr. James Parnell, our family's general practitioner and all around guru is a straight shooter. He tells it like it is and never beats around the bush about anything and everything. He looked at me one day and said, "Chris, if you don't change your ways, you'll be dead by 50." Let that sink in. That's scarier than Jason, Freddy, Michael or the Exorcist combined. I had been on the fence about doing something about my weight. I've had more gym memberships than 1 person needs in a lifetime but the other side of that coin is there is no one better than me to justify why NOT to go and work out. Thank you Dr. Parnell for finally having the balls to say what needed to be said, for shocking me into the reality of my life, for putting it into the ultimate perspective. I will forever be in your debt.

So, it's the Saturday before my appointment with my Surgeon on Monday. I am nervous and excited. I think, weirdly, I'm more excited to get an ultrasound on my gall bladder and stuff. I love procedures and how the body works. I should've been a doctor; but I gave that dream to my ex-wife. I can't wait to have a focal point in my life. That will come with the surgery date. I have a nice, long couple of shifts ahead of me to help the time move faster. I can't wait to be able to satisfy the inquisitors when I'm asked "when". I can't wait!

There is not much on my mind today. I can't get past the eagerness of anticipation. Thankfully, I have a lot of work ahead for the weekend to make the time lapse faster. Thanks for checking in with me. I'm sure I won't be able to sleep on Sunday and Monday with provide a plethora of information highs and lows.

Long weekend.

Sorry, it's been a few days. It is a very busy season out on the lake and this weekend was packed with long shifts and lots of customers. I am losing a step on these busy weekends. I can tell how the weight has effected my work life. I used to love going in on busy nights and chatting with guests and relishing in the spirit of a great, fast-paced night. Now, I'm so self consciences about my weight, self consciences of the way my clothes fit me and how I am being perceived that I'm panic stricken when I have to go in for a closing shift that I find any excuse to no chat up tables, even if they know me. It's stupid, I know and it is what I'm building up in my own brain; but, knowing that makes it all the more easy to get caught up in a spiral downward.

Does this surgery make me a better manager? I hope so. Does this surgery allow me to do my job better? I believe so. Does this new lease on life change the way I am perceived? Absolutely. I have not been able to find a negative for doing this surgery. The closest negative is that I didn't decide to do this 2 years ago, or that I will be away from work for 2-3 weeks. That's sad. I hope anyone who reads this and is trying to wrestle with their addiction will take away the fact that there is nothing but good that can come from this procedure. Make up your mind for your life. For all the superfluous reasons I can come up with for doing this for my wife and kids, for my job, for my friends etc., I understand that I'm doing this for me-selfishly.

It's one week. One week until I sit down face to face with my doctor and shake the hand of the man who will change my life. I'm very emotional right now about it. This week is going to be hard to concentrate on anything else. I can only hope that the week goes fast.

And the days just go on forever...

I am not a very patient person. Ask anyone who knows me. Actually, the only place I have patience is in a restaurant or bar. Why?!? I work in them and have for 20+ years in some form or another. This is the biggest Achilles heal I will have to deal with in the next few decades. There is a veritable buffet available to me and I now have to control my addiction.

I have talked about control before; but, I feel it is almost Zen-like when it comes to how I am approaching this life altering decision. I know I have support.

So, back to patience. I can't wait to have my pre-op with my Doctor. Why can't it be now?!? I have so many questions and want to know everything that is going to happen. I wonder if I can get a DVD of the surgery. Is that gross, is that too much? I'm going to have an ultrasound on my Gall Bladder. Will they take it out? Everyone I've talked to that has had the procedure has said they just remove it. Don't I need it? Doesn't it produce the bile by which I digest? Here is what I found:

The adult human gallbladder stores about 50 millilitres (1.8 imp fl oz; 1.7 US fl oz) of bile, which is released when food containing fat enters the digestive tract, stimulating the secretion of cholecystokinin(CCK). The bile, produced in the liver, emulsifies fats in partly digested food.

After being stored in the gallbladder, the bile becomes more concentrated than when it left the liver, increasing its potency and intensifying its effect on fats.

Bile secretion and gallbladder function

1. Composition and function of bile Bile contains bile salts, phospholipids, cholesterol, and bile pigments(bilirubin).

a) Bile salts: are amphipathic molecules because they have both hydrophilic and hydrophobic portions. In aqueous solution, bile salts orient themselves around droplets of lipid and keep the lipid droplets dispersed (emulsified), aid in the intestinal digestion and absorption of lipids by emulsifying and solubilizing them in micelles.

b) Micelles Above a critical micellar concentration, bile salts form micelles. Bile salts are positioned on the outside of the micelle, with their hydrophilic portions dissolved in the aqueous solution of the intestinal lumen and their hydrophobic portions dissolved in the micelle interior. Free fatty acids and monoglycerides are present in the inside of the micelle, essentially "solubilized" for subsequent absorption.

2. Formation of bile Bile is produced continuously by hepatocytes. Bile drains into the hepatic ducts and is stored in the gallbladder for subsequent release. Choleretic agents increase the formation of bile.

Bile is formed by the following process:

a. Primary bile acids (cholic acid and chenodeoxycholic acid) are synthesized from cholesterol by hepatocytes. In the intestine, bacteria convert a portion of each of the primary bile acids to secondary bile acids (deoxycholic acid and lithocholic acid). Synthesis of new bile acids occurs, as needed, to replace bile acids that are excreted in the feces.

b. The bile acids are conjugated with glycine or taurine to form their respective bile salts, which are named for the parent bile acid (e.g., taurocholic acid is cholic acid conjugated with taurine).

c. Electrolytes and H20 are added to the bile.

d. During the interdigestive period, the gallbladder is relaxed, the sphinc- ter of Oddi is closed, and the gallbladder fills with bile.

e. Bile is concentrated in the gallbladder as a result of isosmotic reab- sorption of solutes and H20.

3. Contraction of the gallbladder

a. CCK: is released in response to small peptides and fatty acids in the duodenum. tells the gallbladder that bile is needed to emulsify and absorb lipids in the duodenum. causes contraction of the gallbladder and relaxation of the sphincter of Oddi.

b. ACh: causes contraction of the gallbladder.

4. Recirculation of bile acids to the liver.

The terminal ileum contains a Na+-bile acid cotransporter, which is a secondary active transporter that recirculates bile acids to the liver. Because bile acids are not recirculated to the liver until they reach the terminal ileum, bile acids are present for maximal absorption of lipids throughout the upper small intestine. After ileal resection, bile acids are not recirculated to the liver, but are excreted in feces. The bile acid pool is thereby depleted and fat absorption is impaired, resulting in steatorrhea.

Neat. I will wait to hear what the Doc has to say. Yet, I can't wait. For those who don't understand what I am having done, here it is:

How is the Roux-en-Y gastric bypass performed?

In Roux-en-Y, the stomach is divided, and a small pouch, which limits calories that can be taken in on a daily basis to less than 1,000, is formed as simultaneously the majority of the stomach is sealed off. A portion of the small intestine is then divided and sewn to the newly created small stomach pouch. This process limits the body’s ability to absorb calories. This procedure can be performed as a standard open surgery, or as a laparoscopic surgery.

How is a laparoscopic procedure performed?

Laparoscopic (minimally invasive) surgery involves several very small incisions rather than open surgery, which uses one large incision. Once the patient, who has been given general anesthesia, is asleep, a harmless gas is introduced into the abdomen to move the organs so that the surgeon can work in increased space and can see more when a tiny camera (a laparoscope) is inserted into one incision through a narrow hollow tube (a trocar).

This technique allows the surgeon to view images of the surgery site on a video screen. Then through other trocars inserted into the remaining small incisions, the surgeons introduce and manipulate long narrow surgical instruments that allow performance of the same procedures that take place in traditional open surgeries.

What are the advantages of the laparoscopic approach?

At the University of Maryland Medical Center, we only use the laparoscopic approach for Roux-en-Y because of the many advantages, including quicker recovery and shorter hospital stays, as well as a significantly reduced risk of wound infection. Patients also report less pain and quicker return to normal activity.

Thanks for reading. More soon.

Hesitation and anticipation

So, there are butterflies where I thought courage would be. My Doctor, Dr. Thomas Jones, MD, is an artist of sorts and supposedly has a complication rate of 1/2000 Gastric Bypass procedures performed. I have a hard time dealing with something when I am not in control. No, I don't want to wait until I pass 7 years of Medical School, residency and the like to perform the procedure myself. Ask my wife how long it took me to get over my fear of flying (which is actually a great story-thanks to Old Chicago...). My point is that although I trust that my doctor will have my best interest in mind and hands and that thousands of these procedures are completed every year, I still have some trepidation due to the fact I'm not in control.

Look at where I got with being in control of my eating so far. My addiction has won and now I am going to get the help I need. I love the absolute that this surgery will give me. Sure, for all intense and purposes, nothing is 100%. I feel my strong will, coupled with the surgery, will prove the proper defense. If I'm told I can only eat 3oz. of food at each meal, must take a multivitamin and other substances for the rest of my life, can't drink liquid with my meal or have any of my wife's sweets anymore...yeah, I'll be depressed for a bit, but that's the addiction talking. Once food is removed as the addiction, life can progress as it should have.

I can't wait to see the new me develop. I can't wait to shop at Target again or wear a suit or tie my shoes without falling short of breath. I want to not be an embarrassment at the pool for my Daughter. I want to look good for my sexy wife. I want to wear sexy striped shirts and take my wife places only pretty people go. Mostly, I want to be around for grandchildren and great grandchildren and become the person I have always felt inside that I can become. Through all the layers of fat and depression and anger and pain, there is a Chris Seiple just waiting to get out.

I didn't receive a call from Methodist today like I thought I would. I will call and check in tomorrow morning, as I am anxious to get the ball rolling and get this body into the shape it needs to be in for the rest of my life.

I credit a regular at my place of employment, Jay Sutherland, as the one who really made the decision easy to make. Jay had gone through the bypass experience. He was at 415lbs at his heaviest and regrets only that he didn't have the surgery sooner. His tale and insight has been inspirational ever since he made me understand that I have an addiction to food. That explains why I sneak food, even to this day. I've gotten very good at covering up my traces of gluttony. It was like hearing my own life when Jay described the food addiction as bad as heroin, alcohol or cigarettes. People who don't have that problem have no understanding. When you're an addict, you eat when you're hungry, when you're not hungry, when you're bored, when you're sad, when you're happy, depressed or exhilarated. It happens for any reason and at any time. I'm so glad that Jay, this unassuming person, that I would have never imagined in a million years, would be the one who took the time to help. Thanks Jay.

So, that's it for today. It's raining out and just got done with helping with my daughter's homework.

So, when I started this entry, I had not heard from Methodist. I decided to call them and guess what!?! I got my Pre Opt Dietician appointment scheduled, I got my Surgeon Consultation scheduled with my Dr. and I'm having a Gal Bladder Ultrasound. I'm still hoping that I can have this done before my birthday in July; but, I understand I am but one in a sea of thousands looking for the same "cure". Yes, I know this isn't a cure; but, for those who know me, you will certainly think once I set my mind to something, I accomplish the feat with great intensity. Through the dark clouds today, I'm still walking on Sunshine!

I got my approval!

So, it happened. It's taken over 2 years to get to this point. I had a breakdown on the freeway on my way to work on Saturday. I couldn't believe that I was in the final phase of becoming the new me. My dietician has been very encouraging. Thank you so much Amy! I can't wait for this journey. I will endeavor to post whenever new developments happen. Once I have my surgery, it is my intention to add images and talk through all my highs and lows.

The person I need to thank the most is my Wife, Lisa. There is no possible way I could go through this procedure if it wasn't for your love and support. You are tireless in your love for me and your love is unconditional. I love you with all my heart and I can't wait to be the man I always wished for you. My body may change and improve; but, my love with grow stronger and more full. I will love you forever.

So, if you are a person who is considering having a Gastric-Bypass Surgery and you are on the fence, I hope you will stay tuned and learn from my mistakes and celebrate in my goals and accomplishments. I hope that I can go through the good and bad and the exhilarating so that you may make the correct choice for you. I am about to Go Boldly. Welcome to the journey.